Monday, June 30, 2008
Today, we were walking behind a lady who was wearing a tight tank top and smoking a cigarette. Gavin yells out, "Mommy, that lady doesn't have a shirt on. She forgot her shirt!!" I tried my best to keep a straight face as I quietly said, "Yes, she does have a shirt on Gavin." "NO MOM! A BRA IS NOT A SHIRT!!" Gavin shrieked. Just when I thought it couldn't get any more embarrassing, Caedon decided to join in the commentary with this observation, "She's making a bad choice by sucking on that smoking stick!!" This poor lady had no idea that her life choices would be subject to a couple of toddlers' criticisms when she went out for dinner today.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
I've never had an easy baby before. Both of my boys came shooting out to this life knowing exactly the way they wanted things and knowing exactly how to go about getting those things. They are very opinionated and extremely stubborn. Whenever I would read baby books telling me, "If you follow this schedule, then your baby will ________." Those books were always very good at predicting what my boys would do...the exact opposite of whatever the book predicted. I know this is a good thing...that they will have the tenacity to be strong leaders and take a stand for things that matter. But, it can also be very challenging...especially to a mommy that just wants her baby to eat, sleep, wear pants, etc.
So when Aislynn came along, I was pleasantly surprised...no I was flabbergasted! I had no idea that a baby could follow a schedule for eating and sleeping, could fall asleep in their own bed within minutes, and could be generally happy with life. It did not take long to get used to it, however. I love this little girl who does everything on cue. Sure, she has fussy moments, but usually she is only upset when there is actually a reason to be (unlike the boys who seemed to cry just so they could make sure that my ears were working every minute and a half or to make sure I was aware that this earth was not living up to their expectations).
Can you sense a bump in the road coming? You got it. Aislynn was bound to formulate an opinion at some point and she has decided she found a grievance worth complaining about. Aislynn has decided she does NOT want to take a bottle. Nope, not in the middle of the night (when Dan graciously takes one of the feedings so I can get a long chunk of sleep), not in the daytime (when I try to run an errand only to return to find a full bottle of precious breast milk sitting in the dirty sink) and certainly not from me (when I try to wait until I know she's absolutely hungry and she defiantly pushes the bottle out of her mouth and nestles her nose into my chest while trying to latch on to my t-shirt).
This wouldn't be such a big deal if the following two statements were not in the equation:
1. I do NOT love breastfeeding to the point of exclusion (I like to be able to leave occasionally for more than 2 hours or sleep for more than 4-5 in the night...I know what you're thinking and you're right...I'm completely selfish and should be shot).
2. I go back to work part-time in a month!
So, Aislynn and I are preparing for battle. Well, I'm preparing...she's sleeping peacefully in her bassinet right now. I am going to buy a few different kinds of bottles to see if maybe she will like a different one better. I'm going to pump just before each feeding and try to bottle feed her several times a day. I've seen the glimmer in her eye...the glimmer I recognize from her brothers' eyes. She will not go down without a fight! In some ways, I'm really bummed that there is a bump in the road, but in some ways, I'm relieved. I'm glad to know that this little princess has some fire and grit in her too. And that when she truly cares about something, she's not just going to lay down and take it. No, she will make herself be heard. She will be a strong and passionate woman!! She is her brothers' sister, after all.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
I'm actually NOT referring to the weather in Portland. No, it has actually been quite decent these last few days. Not that we've been able to enjoy it. Remember how I fell down? Hard? Remember how I bought my boys Happy Meals so I wouldn't have to cook dinner on my severely hurt ankle? That decision came back to bite me.
I whined all evening long after falling down. I told my husband every detail of the fall and the pain that ensued. I kept my foot up all evening with ice on it. When we went to bed, I was so very ready to fall asleep and forget about the pain and the events of the day for awhile. And I did just that...until 2:00am. I hear what sounds like coughing and gagging coming from the boys room, followed by Gavin yelling, "Daddy!! Help Daddy!" I wake up Dan (who could sleep through the apocalypse if it wasn't for my trusty elbow in the back trick!) and he goes to check things out. Sure enough, Gavin is vomiting. I think to myself...Maybe, just maybe, this was just a coincidence...perhaps he was just coughing too hard and gagged himself. I keep telling myself this when he vomits twice more over the next hour. I almost have myself convinced that he must just have a bad cough and the phlegm is making him vomit when Caedon wakes up and vomits all over his pillow.
We were up the rest of the night...changing clothes, washing out bowls, hobbling around the house on my non-functional foot. By morning, the boys seemed to feel fine and were running around the house playing "Superhero" while Dan and I tried to force our eyes to stay open. So yes, Portland has finally entered the summer season, but no, the Hawks have not been outside to soak up the sun! And to all the naysayers out there who like to say things like, "Bad things always happen in threes," Aislynn has a cold! So there! We are ready for the good times to roll our way any minute now...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The doctor said my foot has a hairline fracture and is severely sprained. I have to wear the boot for at least 2 weeks, maybe up to 6 weeks! Needless to say, I feel humiliated. Cooper keeps eyeing my boot...I think he's waiting for me to take it off so he can give it a taste.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Ok...let me just begin this post by saying that my boys fall down and skin their knees and bump their heads about 10 times on any given day. Sometimes they cry...most of the time they just jump back up and resume whatever it was they were doing.
I fell down today and I did not jump back up. I was visiting a friend who just had a baby. As we were leaving her house, I was loaded down with my diaper bag and the baby car carrier (with baby in it). I was trying to maneuver my way between her minivan and the fence that surrounds her front yard while holding the very heavy baby seat out in front of me and pointing out a passing convertible to the boys (who are obsessed with cool cars). All of the sudden, my wedge sandal (which I must admit I should NOT have been wearing as I still haven't totally regained my inner balance after being pregnant) got caught on the edge of the driveway and my ankle rolled underneath me. Down I went...hard. I realized as I was falling that I MUST PROTECT THE BABY so I twisted my body and managed to lightly place her seat on the ground while ALL of my body weight landed on my opposite knee. The only damage she sustained was being startled when the diaper bag fell off my shoulder and into her lap. That, and she was covered in little leaves and blooms off the big bush we were next too.
It was either the adrenaline rushing through my body as I frantically made sure that the baby was still alive or the crushing embarrassment I felt as my friend called out, "Did you just fall?" but the pain didn't register right away. Once I got up and assured myself that I didn't just drop my baby on her head, I assessed the damage. My knee was scraped up and my elbow was bleeding pretty badly. Nothing hurt...YET. I collected the remains of my pride while my friend (who is still recovering from a cesarian!!) helped me get Aislynn out of the seat and shook all the debris out for me and her husband got the boys loaded in the van. I assured everyone I was fine and said my goodbyes.
About 3 minutes into the drive home, the adrenaline and embarrassment wore off and the PAIN set in. Oh my goodness...the PAIN! My ankle (you remember...the one that rolled under me b/c of that gosh darn wedge) was throbbing. My elbow was throbbing. My knee was throbbing. My whole body was throbbing. It was not hard to check my pulse as my whole body was throbbing with each heart beat.
Needless to say, I went through the McDonalds drive-thru and bought my kids happy meals for dinner. Partly because I knew that by the time we got home, I would be in no condition to cook and partly because I have a new found respect for these little daredevils that truly know how to take a lickin' and keep on tickin'.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Dan and I went to see the movie, "Lord Save Us From Your Followers" at the Hollywood Theater last week. It was a great documentary where the director asks the question, "Why can't Americans just have a conversation about beliefs? Why must everything be such a huge battle?" He looked deeply at the way Christians are perceived in American culture (extremely out of touch, very judgmental and full of hatred). At one point he compared that perception with the perception that Africans have of American Christians. They (generally) see us as full of Christ's love and compassion. Why is the divide so great?
The basic perception that Africans have of American Christiansis that we are the people who are over there, giving of ourselves, meeting basic needs, truly being the hands and feet of Christ. Meanwhile over here, the least of these are very rarely even noticed by Christians. We seem to be too busy fighting against the gays to realize that these are people...just the same as us. We are all people who need to be loved. We all have a story. Why do we need to travel to Africa to love people and help people? Of course, we need to be in Africa! The extreme poverty must be helped and Christians have a call by Christ to help. But, we also need to treat people here with the same love and compassion that we have towards people in other countries.
It would be a great day when our neighbors felt the same way about American Christians that the starving children in Africa do...that we love them, want to help them and most of all, that we do all of this because Christ first loved us. Wouldn't that make people stop and listen? Wouldn't that be so much more effective to sharing Christ's mission than picketing abortion clinics and supporting political candidates who will ban gay marriage? In my mind, the answer is a huge YES! Now, if I can just remember to live what I believe...to remember that this can be as simple as offering a hug or a meal to someone who is in pain, to stand up for people that the church views as marginal and to teach my children that we are all equal in the eyes of Christ and that God has told us to love Him first and foremost and to love His people...ALL of them.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Yesterday we were all sitting in the family room talking when Gavin said to me, "Look, Mommy! I found something!" I said, "What did you find, Gavin?" When I looked closely at the finger he was waving wildly in the air, I saw a great, big, green booger. "Gross Gav! Where did you find that?" I said. Very proudly he exclaimed, "Up inside my nose!!!"
Of course I was not happy with the great find or the expedition that led up to it. "Please go throw that away in the garbage and wash your hands." Gavin took off for the kitchen and I forgot all about the green goblin on his finger. That is, until I walked into the kitchen about 20 minutes later. There, right smack in the middle of my white dishwasher was a big, thick, green booger. "Gavin!!! Come here right now." Gavin ran into the kitchen, "What mommy?" "Please get this booger off my dishwasher. That is not where it belongs!" "But mommy, it makes a good magnet there." Gavin said sheepishly. Who knew that boogies can double as magnets? I guess I'm just too close-minded. :)
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Yesterday was my 30th birthday. Caedon asked me how many 30 is. I told him that 30 is 3 tens. "But, mom! That is too old. You should be dead and with God in heaven!!" Wow. Talk about perspective!!
Overall, I am happy with where I'm at at 30. We still have some struggles (I'd thought I'd be completely financially secure by now...pretty funny thought). But, I've been blessed with an amazing hubby and 3 great kids. Sometimes it feels like more than I can handle. Times when the baby has a blow-out up the front AND back right when Gavin decides to whack Caedon over the head causing the greatest tragedy since Pearl Harbor (at least in Caedon's mind). All of this happens right when I'm opening the door to load up the mini-van to head out to church! All of the sudden, I'm not feeling much like worshipping! But, for every rough moment, there are a hundred amazing moments. Moments when I look at the life God has given me and I can't swallow over the lump in my throat. What did I do to deserve this life? I must remember to relish every moment because the days may be long, but the time is so short.